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The advice for women to “lean in” never resonated with me. I was always an ambitious, confident person, in my eyes. I was proud of my academic achievements and work experiences. I didn’t feel like the biggest challenge to my career was a lack of confidence or leaning in – quite the opposite, I wanted to stretch myself and pursue big projects and assignments. I was pretty sure I had always been “leaning in”. So why did my corporate work environment feel so hostile? Why was I, the only woman of color on the teams I worked on, the most frequent target of bias? I knew something was missing from the “lean in” movement that began after Sheryl Sandberg published her book, Lean In, in 2013. So I checked in with other ambitious women of color like me, some who had gone through rigorous academic training and other impressive work experiences, and others who had a different life path but all had incredible grit and resilience. Across the board, we found again and again that leaning in was not where we were falling short. You can probably anticipate the “twist”: our challenge had nothing to do with our individual behavior, and everything to do with facing systemic bias and discrimination. Whether it manifested in what hair and clothing was considered “professional,” or being repeatedly passed over for promotions and leadership opportunities, the fact remained that for women of color, “leaning in” does nothing to remove the systemic obstacles stacked against us. And when women of color do “lean in”, we’re often ignored or met with harsh pushback. In fact, some of the “lean in”-style advice given to women, such as “negotiate harder” or “be more confident” or “fake it till you make it,” has been found to be detrimental for women’s careers. Here’s some good news: We’ve made progress as a community in our understanding of systemic bias since 2013. Just one (symbolic, at least) example took place in 2020, when both Joe Biden and Kamala Harris spoke the words “systemic racism” in their acceptance speeches after winning the US presidential election. But at least one problem from back in 2013 continues to this day, which is that diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) – especially corporate efforts – often implicitly centers white women. I understand that the message to lean in resonated with some professional, white women. But closer scrutiny reveals that systemic bias also negatively impacts white women, as well as men of color and many more individuals with historically underestimated identities. That’s why I have no doubt: we all stand to gain by centering DEI efforts around the experiences of women of color. The historical oppression of women of color is mighty, because of the two marginalized identities that we carry: gender and race. Women of color experience many more challenges and obstacles to progress in the workplace than our male and white peers. When we solve for those challenges and obstacles, we ensure a more equitable and inclusive playing field for all candidates. If you’re reading this far, here’s actionable advice for you: When you heard feedback that a woman you work with lacks “confidence/ambition/grit/leadership/leaning in” pause and instead ask: “Does she really lack ____, or is our measure of what it looks like biased?” I promise, it helps, shift your view. “Lean in”, as a catchphrase and call to action, had its moment. And now? The moment is over. Instead, let’s focus on the movement for leaders to lean in to undoing systemic bias and racism and creating inclusive workplaces for all. I want to hear from you: Did the #LeanIn movement help you or leave you out? And if you were in charge, what catchphrase would you choose for today’s movement to dismantle structural bias, and center the experiences of women of color? I’d love to hear your ideas! Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

If I could boil down the answer to why we are so terrible at being as inclusive as we think we are, it would be one word. Discomfort. We run away from discomfort. And meaningful, long-lasting, life-changing inclusion––as an individual and in workplaces–requires us to lean into discomfort. So many workplace inclusion efforts fail because we overlook the fact that inclusion is much more than inconsistent – and often performative! – actions that prioritize our comfort. Inclusion is a mindset. One that requires ongoing, intentional development. And it will make us uncomfortable if we’re getting it right. To cultivate an inclusion mindset, you have to ground yourself in a growth mindset. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, has shown that success hinges on believing that you can learn and grow in the face of challenges. In contrast, a fixed mindset keeps us stuck and shying away from challenges, believing our talents are innate rather than developed through practice and perseverance. I’ll never sugarcoat it: cultivating an inclusion mindset takes consistent work. It requires you to seek input from and listen to others. It forces you to address our own biases and racism. I can guarantee you’ll feel uncomfortable. In fact, if you never feel uncomfortable while learning about workplace inclusion… then you probably aren’t really doing the work. It helps to expect discomfort. This is why I developed the BRIDGE acronym, which I explore in my book Inclusion on Purpose. Cultivating an inclusion mindset requires us to: Be Uncomfortable. Reflect on what you don’t know Invite feedback Don't get defensive Grow from your mistakes Expect that change takes time The BRIDGE framework is my guide to get you started, built on the foundation of so many experts in this field. I was honored when Dr. Brené Brown told me how much she loved the way I frame this (faint!), when I was on her Dare to Lead podcast! Precisely because there’s an intrinsic connection between having the courage to be uncomfortable and vulnerable while working towards an inclusive, antiracist workplace and world. I am there with you Here’s what really helps me when I feel uncomfortable in this work: the reminder that I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who’s uncomfortable. I’m not the only one who makes mistakes. I’m not the only one not sure what to do next. We all make mistakes and we can all learn from them. So let’s flip the script and actually learn from each other cultivating an inclusion mindset. When was a time you felt uncomfortable or made a mistake in your inclusion mindset? What did you learn? What did you do differently? I can’t wait to hear your stories. It might sound cliche, but it’s true: we’re all in this together. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

Have you ever been expected to act grateful for having a job – even if the toxic workplace treats you like a stereotype? I have! When I worked in corporate America, my colleagues and managers were surprised and displeased when I used my voice and advocated for myself. I could tell by their body language and tone that they didn’t like it when I challenged the stereotype of the “submissive Asian woman.” I still encounter surprise regularly from new clients, even now that I work for myself. This is a common experience for Asian women in the American workplace. We’re penalized for challenging the dominant majority’s (read: usually white people’s) expectations; held to stringent criteria to be considered “likable”; and often dismissed when we raise issues of workplace inequality. So it’s no shock to me that educated and experienced Asian women are still overlooked for leadership roles in top American companies. Some data from USA Today: Asian women are only half as likely as white women to hold an executive position. Asian women make the least progress in their careers in relation to their education and experience when compared with women of other races. Only three of the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies in America are Asian women, this changed just last week when Gap’s CEO Sonia Syngal was ousted–much faster than her male predecessor. Why is this the case? And why has it taken the significant rise in anti-Asian violence of the last two years to start a dialogue about the very real discrimination Asian women have always faced in and out of the workplace? Well in short: systemic racism. But systemic racism affects people differently depending on their intersection identities. And the way systemic racism plays out at the intersection of Asian and female attempts to erase its existence entirely: The “model minority myth” claims that Asian people have “made it.” This myth allows people who are not of Asian descent to deny racism even exists for Asian people– and honestly, many Asians I’ve met subscribe to and conform to this harmful trope. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t for quite a while. Many believe this “model minority” status gives us immunity from experiencing the type of discrimination that holds us back from career advancement. Then there’s the bizarre stereotype I referenced earlier, that Asian women are submissive, i.e. “not strong enough to lead.” Argh. 😡 Fortunately, the conversation is changing (and it’s about time!). I was honored to be featured in USA Today’s Asian women are shut out of leadership at America's top companies. Our data shows why, alongside impressive Asian women leaders like Anne Chow and Margaret Chin. (That's my son holding a copy of USA Today with the story on Asian women leaders on the front page, and a photo of yours truly right there! :)) I hate that it took extreme violence to start acknowledging the anti-Asian bias that has always existed. But I’m relieved that we’re finally acknowledging the racist tropes that hurt all Asian people, and the racist + sexist ones that block Asian women from the leadership positions we fully deserve and desire. Now, I want to hear from you: if you identify as Asian, how have racist stereotypes impacted your career? And for those with other identities, what have you learned about how systemic racism impacts Asian people? Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

Job seekers today are actively looking for clues that a company’s culture will be inclusive. I recently shared the story of Hilliary Turnipseed, who opted for a $30,000 pay cut to work in an inclusive environment. If your goal is to attract the best people, you must learn to recognize how you are deterring prospects with your current methods. That’s right: Employers are unwittingly alienating entirely qualified people at the hiring phase because of the words they choose to describe their ideal candidate and the job itself. If you want the best talent at your company, you must intentionally create inclusive hiring practices. Here, I detail 5 common hiring norms that hamper workplace inclusion efforts — and what to do instead: 1. Requiring college degrees for jobs that don’t need them: Harvard research shows millions of open jobs today that require a college degree are currently being completed by someone who doesn’t have one. This requirement is exclusionary and disproportionately sifts out applicants of color. Instead, prioritize experience and skills to attract talent from diverse backgrounds. 2. Using words that negatively impact women: Rockstar, ninja, hacker, guru, build, aggressive, analytical, and assertive are all words that are associated with conventionally masculine traits which research shows discourage women from applying. Instead, use more words like create, dedicated, responsible, conscientious, and social, which are more likely to encourage women to apply and–best of all–don’t discourage other genders from applying. Win-win! 3. Talking about “culture fit’: Looking for a candidate to “fit in” to your culture is exclusionary. It tells the candidate you want someone who is going to assimilate with whoever is already represented, which is often code for “white” and “male.” Instead, look at what perspectives are missing in your workplace and seek to create a culture add. 4. Having a homogeneous hiring team: A lack of diversity on your hiring team screams that you’re looking for “culture fit” (even if you’re not, intentionally) and turn candidates from other backgrounds off. Instead, allow people of a diversity of backgrounds to be part of the hiring team, so that they can bring their unique perspectives to the process and show candidates that you are committed to inclusion. 5. No transparency on salaries: Salary negotiation leaves the door open for exclusion. Sure, you may have hired a woman of color, but are you paying her less than you might have paid a white man? Research shows that’s very common when we leave salary conversations to negotiations over transparency. Instead, put a salary range directly in your job listing. Make sure you’re transparent and ensure the pay is in line with other comparable roles. I shouldn’t need to say it, but I’ll say it anyway: Prioritizing an inclusive hiring process is necessary to attract the best candidates from all backgrounds. Have you intentionally created a more inclusive hiring process? I’d love to hear what changes you made and how it affected your outcomes. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

“I want to paint my nails blue,” my son said to me a few months ago. When I protested (more to do with my concerns about the toxicity of nail polish; I wasn’t allowed to paint my nails until I was 10), he responded with: “They’re my nails. I should get to choose what to do with them.” He had a valid point. We agreed upon one coat of paint every six months and his favorite teacher put on a bright blue hue on his little fingers the next day. My son’s dad grew up in India and I was raised in Singapore in an Indian family. This was not the kind of discourse either of us had with our parents growing up, and certainly not at age five. But when my partner and I debriefed the conversation we had with our kid, we had to acknowledge–as have many immigrant parents I’ve talked to–our child is American. He will grow up with American values (even the ones I’m not too sure about!) AND a big part of why we chose to raise our family here (the choice is a privilege to be sure), is so that he would feel confident and empowered enough to say boldly…here’s what matters to me and I get to make my choice. My addition to this approach is: As long as you’re not harming anyone else or yourself. (A story for another day is how my child once counseled me when I had an argument with a loved one that I was the ‘boss of me’ and not to let other people boss me around.” Yes, he’s five!) The American value of, “it’s my body, my choice” is something I’ve learned immensely from in the 10 years I’ve lived in this country. Some of it has been empowering (I grew up in a deeply fatphobic country and believed I should hide my body because it didn’t conform to media ideals of beauty. I’ve thankfully learned better since.) Some of it has been concerning and deeply confounding (We can’t mandate masks or vaccines during a global pandemic when both have proven to save lives?) And then, something else entirely happened on June 24, 2022 when the Supreme Court of the United States overturned the protections of a person’s right to abortion. It felt distinctly unAmerican. Inhuman. Anti-science. I have lived in America as a woman of color long enough not to be entirely surprised. But it was a devastating gut punch. Here’s the truth: this decision will most impact those furthest from the centers of power and privilege: low income people, womxn of color, undocumented people, LGBTQ+ people, and people with disabilities, as a start. Intersectionality matters. Abortion is healthcare. The very same people who lack access to equitable healthcare will be most egregiously harmed by this decision. Which, by the way, the majority of Americans don’t support. And lest those in “liberal” states think it’s not an issue that affects them–here in WA state where abortion rights are protected (for now!), research show that demand for abortions could increase by 350% so we can accommodate out-of-state abortion seekers. This will put immense strain on our healthcare systems, not to mention healthcare providers. It impacts all of us, of course, in disproportionate ways depending on our privilege. None of us are free until we are all free. So where do we go from here? I’m still processing, but here are three to-dos that come straight to mind: Please speak up about abortion rights if you’re in a position of privilege and power and you deeply believe inclusion is leadership. It may be uncomfortable, but we really, really need you to speak up. And if you work for a company that has publicly declared they’ll support paying for employees to travel out-of-state for an abortion, but have a track record of funding anti-abortion causes and political candidates who fueled this horrific turn of events (here are some examples), then make a noise. Understand that this is an absolutely devastating time for many employees. Show empathy and make space for grief. That’s inclusive leadership. Fund womxn of color-led organizations providing direct services to those most impacted by this decision. This is a list I’m donating to. Recommend yours! That’s inclusive leadership. Vote. Get involved in local and state elections. My friend Jamie Van Horne reminded me (in my moments of despair) that we can make a difference by electing pro-science, inclusive leaders such as state Senators and Governors. More about her incredible efforts to make change here. Change the system today for a future when these things are not up for debate. That’s inclusive leadership. This ongoing fight for true freedom is long and grueling. We’re going to make change only by being intentional, aware and working together to get to the other side. Please, please take care of yourself when you need to, rest often, take breaks from the news and do whatever it takes to build your reserves. Then: Armor up. Speak up. Build community. That’s inclusive leadership. In solidarity, Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

Hilliary Turnipseed’s new job pays $30,000 less than in her last job. And she couldn’t be happier. Hilliary could do a lot with an extra $30,000 a year. So what about her new job could possibly make her excited to have taken a significant pay cut? Flexible hours, employee appreciation, and a consciously inclusive workplace to name a few reasons. Hilliary’s experience with bias and toxicity as one of the only Black women in her last job catalyzed her to prioritize an inclusive work culture over salary. I predict that more women of color will follow her lead. It's already happening. *Cue Beyonce's latest song.* I acknowledge that placing mental and emotional well-being before pay is not always an easy — or possible — choice to make, especially for women of color. More than 4 out of 5 Black women are the breadwinners in their households. More women of color live in poverty than white women. And without an adequate financial safety net, many of us are forced to grin and bear toxic workplaces. Until we can’t. Photo by @NappyStock on Nappy.co Most women of color I’ve spoken to eventually leave a discriminatory workplace once the emotional, physical and mental toll of working in such an environment becomes too much to endure. You simply can’t put a price tag on being heard, seen and valued at your job. Millennials, in general, are increasingly choosing inclusive workplaces over higher pay. A whopping 80% say that inclusion is a factor when choosing an employer, and 39% would leave their jobs right now for a more inclusive workplace. Leaders will ignore these stats at their peril. If they want to attract top talent to their organizations, it’s clear they need to focus on inclusion. Job seekers want more than just company-wide inclusion and diversity programs. They’re looking for leaders and peers who intentionally demonstrate inclusive behaviors day to day. Inclusion on purpose is a big deal now and will only become more important in the future. Talented job seekers — especially women of color — are looking for clues indicating an inclusive culture. Have you ever left a well-paying job for a more inclusive environment? I’d love to hear your experience. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

Workplace empathy is getting trendy. What I mean is: building empathy is a nonnegotiable component of inclusion. But empathy is one of those words — like authenticity and vulnerability — that gets tossed around in leadership and workplace conversations. When concepts like empathy become “trendy,” their meaning and associated action can be lost. So when we talk about inclusive empathy, what do we actually mean? What are you supposed to do? In chapter three of Inclusion on Purpose, I spend time unpacking the two different types of empathy (yes, there are two!): 1. Affective empathy (how easily you can feel another person’s emotions). 2. Cognitive empathy (you can understand and validate experiences and perspectives that may not be like yours). The empathy you want to cultivate as an inclusive leader is cognitive empathy. Why? Because cognitive empathy demands that we don’t automatically assume that others experience the workplace in the same way we do. For example, let’s say an Asian woman experiences biased behavior in the form of a comment about her accent in a western workplace. Her white, male American colleague may not be able to personally relate, but he can understand that her experience is different from his and validate that it’s painful for her. That’s cognitive empathy in action. This colleague understands that there is nuance to how his Asian peer experiences the workplace, based on her identities as a woman of color. I can’t express how much it means for women of color to experience this level of empathy from our white managers and peers. Demonstrating cognitive empathy at the right moment can significantly change the course of an underestimated person’s career. As newer research shows, empathy is not an inborn trait. It can–and should–be cultivated. Here are some ways how: How to enhance your cognitive empathy Walk in a fictional character’s shoes. I recommend consuming media — fiction, movies, TV shows — by authors from underrepresented and underestimated communities. When we put ourselves in a fictional person’s shoes who has an experience entirely different than our own, research shows it can help us develop empathy. Some of my recent favorite fiction books include, Homegoing, by Yaa Gyasi, Convenience Store Woman, by Sayaka Murata and Ginny Tapley Takemori (translator), Mexican Gothic, by Silvia Moreno-Garcia and Border Less, by Namrata Poddar (which released on the same day as my book!) Audit your social network. I also recommend auditing your social and professional network with curiosity. Do the people closest to you share the same identities as you; race, gender, education, socioeconomic status etc? If yes, how can you meaningfully diversify and expand your network? It could be as simple as asking a coworker from a different background to have lunch with you this week. Cultivate awareness at work. Finally, there are small but mighty everyday actions you can take at work. Take time and care to pronounce names correctly, and spell them with the appropriate grammar markings (like vowel accents). Take note of your employees’ pronouns and lead by sharing your own. These seemingly small details have a powerful compound effect, and meaningfully impact how valued, welcome and safe other people feel in your workplace and your presence. How have you cultivated your cognitive empathy? Do you have a favorite work of fiction by someone with a different background, one that really changed your perspective? What’s a small but mighty action your coworkers take that makes you feel welcome? Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

Only a quarter of white Americans have a friend of color. And for most, their first meaningful interaction with someone of a different racial background will be in the workplace. This explains why I felt like an outsider during the majority of my corporate career in U.S. white-run organizations: my colleagues simply didn’t know what to make of me. My distinct name and unfamiliar accent gave rise to my white colleagues inadvertently reminding me…I was another. This “othering” phenomenon is a direct result of over relying on cultural competency, and not cultivating cultural humility. Let me explain: It’s long struck me how many white Americans have commented on how weird, quirky, or “different” they think Indian people are, right in front of me — a Singaporean of Indian descent. It seemed they wanted to show how much they knew about Indian culture from watching tv shows about Indian people, or travels or business relationships. Unfortunately, their observations always came out in amusement and condescension. It made me profoundly uncomfortable. And their follow up never helped: “oh, but you’re not really Indian” (because I don’t have the kind of accent they expect? Because I’m Singaporean? I've been told both of this and other explanations.) I think they meant that as a compliment, to signal to me that I was “one of them.” They were banking on me having the cultural competency to understand why they found Indian people quirky and weird, and that I’d laugh along. But it was never funny, and it was always demeaning. The problem is cultural competency I believe we all have a personal responsibility to be respectful of others, but I’m not casting all the blame for this behavior on my individual colleagues. The problem is greater than any one person, and it’s the notion of cultural competency itself. Being competent in your understanding of other backgrounds and cultures while still clinging to the notion that you’re of the superior culture is NOT the same as being respectful, open-minded, curious or empathetic. The successful addition of other cultures, genders, and backgrounds in your workplace requires more than just accommodation. It takes some humility as well. This can be as simple as taking the time to pronounce a colleague's name properly. Or recognizing that you DON’T know everything about the culture of others and being open to learning while taking cues from other people, not assuming how they'll behave. This is why I recommend we strive for cultural humility over competency. This mindset shift primes us to understand different cultures not from detached amusement or “othering”, but from a place of empathizing with people, letting their expertise and leadership shine through. It asks us to understand that people’s wants and needs, comforts and preferences and practices could be different, but of equal importance, if not more than the dominant culture’s. Cultural humility demands us to share power. One of my favorite visual examples of the difference between cultures (in this case, eastern and western cultures, broadly speaking) comes from the artist Yang Liu. Having lived in both, I love how spot-on this is. AND, I don’t see one as better than the other. In fact, so much of the eastern way of doing things, particularly centering a collective vs individual approach, has unique merit especially right now. To that end, it is both our individual and collective responsibility to do better at being inclusive in the workplace. This requires constantly interrupting our instinctive approach to a situation, and cultural humility helps. Remember: inclusion doesn’t happen naturally. It takes daily intentional acts to ensure a diverse and inclusive workplace today and tomorrow. Now, I’d love to hear from you: Have you ever felt like an outsider at work due to a cultural, racial, or gender (or any combination of the three) difference? On the other side, have you experienced someone who showed cultural humility when learning from and about you? Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

It’s amazing — but also clearly a lesson I need to keep learning again — how different I feel after I rest. I was lucky enough to have my mum, sister, and baby niece visiting me from Singapore, this May. Taking time off work to enjoy their company nourished my mind, heart, and soul. I’ll be honest, it was hard to say I was taking a month off. Just 8 weeks after my book launch. When the number of inquiries I’m getting are at an all-time high. When the number of community members writing to me to share feedback about my book has reached levels I couldn’t even imagine! But I’m so glad I did. And thank you for your patience with my slow responses! I quickly had to draw on those nourished reserves. Rest is important for everyone, but this month it’s particularly critical, especially for people of color. Racist murders in Dallas and Buffalo are recent examples of the kind of mass violence that has always targeted people of color. When racist violence occurs, I have to draw deeply on my reserves to keep showing up and doing the emotionally taxing work of creating inclusive workplaces. Then, there was the senseless, unspeakable murder of children in Uvalde, Texas. I have no words. Doing this work can be quite daunting. Facing the continued mass violence we see in society, heartbreaking, to say the least. That’s another reason why I’m glad I rested this month in the company of my young niece, A. A photo of my son, V, and my niece, A, walking together holding hands. What gives me inspiration and hope is the recognition that generations after me will not have to struggle as much with inequality as I did and certainly not as much as people in generations past. Spending time with A has given me a renewed sense of purpose. At just sixteen months, A is strong-minded, strong-willed, and not afraid to ask for exactly what she wants. Growing up in a traditional Indian community, those were the exact attributes I was told to abandon. It’s taken decades for me to unlearn these messages. I still catch myself slipping back sometimes. But being around A reminded me that my purpose is to create a world that cheers and celebrates when the voices of girls and women of color are expressed boldly, unabashedly, loudly. It was also meaningful to watch my own son learn that the way his young cousin acts is the norm. I want to ensure he’s seeing something different from what I heard loud and clear, that boys could act however they wanted, but girls couldn’t (and that gender was only a binary concept.) I am beyond delighted that my son and my niece will see people of all genders advocating for themselves and being themselves, no matter what. Tell me (if you want to, I know it’s been a hard month) how you’re taking time to rest, and who inspires you to keep doing your work, especially when it’s hard. Your responses always make my day, and I look forward to hearing from you on this deeply important topic. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

I grew up subscribing to the ideals of meritocracy. I was born in Singapore, a tiny island-city-state founded on the principle that if you work hard, your gender, skin color, and socioeconomic status won’t matter. I worked hard all through school, attended a top university in London, and then went to the world’s most recognized graduate school for a master’s in journalism. Frankly, I had a naive view of the world: if you work hard and are smart enough, you could overcome any chips that are stacked against you. Then I entered the workforce. More than ever before, I saw gender and racial bias in full form — not cloaked in any way. It was particularly egregious in the technology industry. To give just one example: a leader’s entry-level, all-white millennial, female team was referred to as his “harem.” 🤢 I had no idea when I entered the workforce that I would be discriminated against. I now recognize my naiveté as part of my privilege as an Asian woman — few Black, Indigenous and Latinx women I’ve spoken to in the United States harbored the same delusions. My own views on meritocracy and privilege changed dramatically after my experiences. This mindshift is why I wrote Inclusion on Purpose. And when I read this story from reader and fellow Singaporean Dayla S., my heart soared. We do not know each other, by the way. THIS is why my work — and the work of the women of color whose stories are in my book, the work of so many DEI leaders before and with us — matters. It matters because we can and do change. I share Dayla’s and my stories here because we can all learn and grow. No matter your background, the time you grew up in, or your own personal experience, you can learn to identify bias and privilege and work to undo it. Whether you have experienced it personally or not. You can learn to see meritocracy for the facade that it is, and dismantle it through your actions. I am not exaggerating. Dayla, thank you so much for your openness, candour, and vulnerability in sharing your personal journey and realizations. I am so moved that Inclusion on Purpose is part of your learning and growth. Thank you for reading and thank you for sharing! What’s an experience you’ve had that shifted your perception of privilege, bias, or meritocracy? (It doesn’t have to be my book! I’m not fishing for compliments 😉. In fact, I’d love to hear what’s opened your mind so I can add them to my read/watch/listen list.) Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

I’m often expected to be grateful for what I’m offered. I also risk facing harsher penalties if I try to negotiate a raise or salary offer. That’s the reality for many immigrants and women of color in the United States. It’s why I didn’t even consider negotiating an author advance when I pitched my first book in 2015 — especially since I didn’t have an agent to represent me. I did, however, have an agent five years later when Inclusion on Purpose went to auction. And honestly? I’ve wondered if having a young woman of color represent me resulted in receiving a lower offer than my white peers. I’m thrilled to have an amazing agent bat for me and I also know that she navigates similar challenges as me. Consider the whiteness of the publishing industry: 85% of acquisitions editors are white and nearly 90% of books published are by white authors, according to a 2020 New York Times piece. Now factor in that negotiation as a practice favors those who are already (over)represented in the industry and workforce. Can you guess the results? Exactly: Women and people of color authors get lowballed for their books and intellectual property. Two-time National Book Award winner, Jesmyn Ward, a Black woman, drove this home when her viral social media campaign #PublishingPaidMe revealed the disparity in book advances received by white and Black authors. She herself had to “wrestle” her way to a $100,000 advance despite her accolades, while Chip Cheek, a white man, tweeted receiving $800,000 for his debut. Eight. Hundred. Thousand. Dollars. For. His. Debut. That makes it clear who publishing companies think are “worth” taking a chance on. Book advances can mean the difference between an author taking years off to concentrate wholly on their book and hiring professionals to help in their journey, and an author writing while taking care of their out-of-school toddler while running their business full time. My case was the latter. I’ve dedicated my life to creating inclusive workplaces, and it was particularly painful to see exclusion playing out in my own journey as an author. Authors of color are simply not given the same opportunity to succeed as their white counterparts. If we want a better future for the industry—one that more meaningfully reflects the diversity of voices in the world and one where authors of color aren’t undervalued, then the publishing industry must change. I have four recommendations to drive this change, and you can read them in Publishers Weekly. Ridding the publication industry of discrimination is an ambitious endeavor, I know. But if we consistently challenge the legacy of racism and bias in the industry (and others), we’ll get there. If we prioritize doing the right thing over remaining in our comfort zone, we’ll get there. If we act intentionally with continued awareness, we’ll get there. Now, I want to hear from you! Have you ever been the recipient of an offer that you felt didn’t line up with what you feel you’re worth? How did you navigate that? Or maybe after reading this you see where you may have been more generous with authors based on factors other than their merit? Let me know what you think. Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.

My book Inclusion On Purpose was rejected by 30 publishers. And all it takes is ONE good yes. ONE good yes later, and Inclusion on Purpose is a #1 Amazon bestseller in several categories, sold out its initial print run and has been featured and wholeheartedly recommended as a must-read on Dare to Lead with Brené Brown (pinch me — and keep scrolling for the link!). One good yes later, and I am among the scant 11% of published authors of color. But while they were happening, those 30 rejections hurt. And to protect myself from the sting, my agent, Maile and I agreed that I wouldn’t read any of the rejection feedback. The book ultimately went into auction and I’m proud to be published by MIT Press. And, two years after Maile initially shopped my book proposal, I became curious about what was in those rejections. She finally sent me all 30 of them (with publishers and names removed!). Three trends stand out to me as I mull over these publishers’ pushback, and I want to share them with you: 1. One Book Is NOT Enough I was surprised by how many of the 30 publisher rejections cited some variation of: “we already have a book about diversity and inclusion.” This highlights a belief that is deeply flawed: “one book on DEI is enough.” Really? One book on the topic that, because of a global racial reckoning sparked off in 2020 by the tragic murder of George Floyd and others, forced organizations large and small to take action (even when it was reluctant or poorly executed)? One book on the topic that leads to greater financial return and innovation in business? One book on the most urgent leadership topic of this century? How could one book per publisher possibly be enough, when everyone needs guidance on diversity, equity, and inclusion? This belief utterly fails to capture the nuance and complexity of DEI not only at work, but through all layers of our lives. Furthermore, one book on DEI by a woman of color is not enough, either. One rejection spelled out this flavor of the “one is enough” belief: “I just won a big auction for a career book by a woman of color. Her book is not exactly parallel to Ruchika’s proposal, but there are distinct similarities.” There should be as many choices for diversity and inclusion books by women of color (we are not a monolith!) as there are leadership or life-hack books written by white men. Which leads me to… 2. Diversity is for EVERYONE Another flawed belief that came through the publisher rejections is that diversity is “hard to publish” or a “niche market.” In other words: “inclusion doesn’t apply to a general audience.” Let me be clear: cultivating inclusion on purpose applies to EVERYONE. And while my book addresses it in a workplace context, big change comes from people acting across their lives to become more aware and responsible for inclusion. We need countless more books about work, school, art, neighborhood associations, community centers, politics, and more, written by and centering the experiences of people of color, especially women of color. DEI books need to be everywhere people are. 3. Words without Action are Empty One more trend stood out as I reviewed the pushback from 30 publishers: many mentioned that they admire and support my work. Some were even extremely effusive about how amazing I was. This is kind and flattering. But it reminds me of something I noticed when I started my company in 2017: words without action are empty. When I started Candour, I went out on dozens of coffee dates and lunches, taking out colleagues to show respect for their time and to strengthen our professional relationships. All were supportive with their words. “What a great idea!” they told me. But when I’d ask for solid introductions to potential clients or to be hired, most of those same people ghosted me completely. They did not put their money where their mouth was. It’s my experience that women of color receive plenty of “we believe in you!” mentorship and advice… and the support stops there. Such words mean next to nothing. Action means everything. I suspect it goes without saying, but I want to say it anyway: I’m so grateful I didn’t give up. I am so glad I didn’t read those rejections when they came in (thank you, Maile, for advising me not to read them while I was feeling raw.) And I am SO grateful, more than I can say, for the support and encouragement YOU’VE shown me and my book these past few months. I also hope this reminds you to nevertheless persist – your story matters in whichever way you want to tell it – when you may be hearing “no” from gatekeepers. I want all of us to win. And we can, when we keep pushing those barriers down together. Now, I want to hear from you: have you persevered through rejection to that ONE good yes? Have you experienced the trends above yourself? Click here to subscribe to the weekly Inclusion is Leadership letter.